See the ups and downs Afiya is going through with Matt recently has really made me happy to be single. I miss all the good shit about relationships like cuddling and kissing and having that support system that you know won't go away. But I don't miss the heartaches and tears and the feeling vulnerable and unsure of everything that you once thought was true. I strongly don't want to be in a relationship for a very long time. I'm scared, I don't want to feel the pain I felt that night again. Just looking back at it makes me cry and feel uneasy. Even Kenny saw my pain that day. I don't want to put myself out there, I reckon I'll go against faith if it comes to that. I just want to sit in this space for a while and be happy. I miss you and will always love you but fear is getting the best of me.
I still hope he can actually stop by Sunday.
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